A play. Set in the Penthouse of an Old Folks home in Boston
Phone rings
TW IS that John?
LP No it’s Linda Tom
TW Ah.. The lovely Linda.. Tell me what you are wearing..
LP You disgust me Tom! And what’s that shuffling noise? Anyway – here’s John
JWH Hey Tom –it’s late on a Friday night, whats up?
TW Just an idea. There’s a midpark player Chelski are going to buy..
JWH Yeh, and? Todd’s playing Fantasy Soccer with his money. I’m saving mine for Linda to buy an orphanage when I die.
TW I know, but this is a real ruse. We make an offer of like, a 130 million dollars, secretly knowing it will fail. We look good to the moaners on Tweetsville, and we chuck a mil on Chelski buying him at evens.
So its been a bit of a week. We’re buying no-one. Then we’re buying Caidedo. Then no-one. Then Endo. No not Hendo, but Endo.
I admit I got excited about Caidedo. Then it came out that he loves Chelsea, bleeding blue tears, with a bedroom full of plastic flags. What on earth was that all about? All looked slightly silly. Going from no money to spend to letting the whole world know there’s an 111 million pounds sitting in our pocket, with no one to sped it on. Didn’t they know he didtn fancy coming? Surely someone knew! Jurgen didn’t appear to at the Saturday morning presser. To be honest, I’m not too sure he IS actually worth that amount. Sure, he looked busy and strong in a decent Brighton team, but really THAT good?
And then there was Lavia.
‘Its £50m’
‘We’ll offer 40’
It’s 50
We’ll offer 41
It’s 50
‘How about 42, and a family baf of cheesy Wotsits’
Anyway tell the lad we prefer Caidedo, but might come back if it all falls apart’
Anyone remember a lad call Michael Edwards? He bought Salah, Mane Virgil, Robbo and Ali with minimal fuss. And got £142m for the sale of Coutinho. In my mind he is up there in our club history with the likes of Mo Salah, Virgil, KLopp and so on. A bit like Sammy Lee back in the day, you only tend to miss him when he’s not in the team. And God we miss him.
So at least we have one new lad, Wataro Endo. The Twitter hoards are up in arms. Give the poor lad a break! Yes I know we haven’t heard of him, and I know he’s 30. But we have lost so much experience. I’m still slightly shocked Millie, Fabinho and Hendo were allowed to leave at the same time. I did wonder during the Chelsea game whether any one of them could have done a job, even with advancing years, in the dreaded number 6 role.
So to the actual football. There were a lot of positives in the Chelsea game. Initially we looked great going forward. Salah looked sharp, as did Diaz. Szoboslai (yes I did look up the spelling..) was neat and busy. Looked a bit like Emre Can to me, hopefully with less mistakes. Mac Allister looked classy. However the game turned. We were 2 inches away from something beautiful (I’ve heard that before lol).. as Salah’s goal was ruled out for offside. Our defensive frailty was there for all to see.
So let’s talk about our defence – or lack of it.
My issue is with the new Trent role. I agree he looked good in a largely stagnant midfield last year, getting back to his normal role when not in possession. Now we potentially have a decent midfield, I think we should go back to a back four, allowing Trent and Robbo to push on down the wings. Remember, they were quite good at it.. If folk are still pushing for Trent in midfield, and I totally get why, then surely we need a top class right back to fill in? We seem so weak down the right channel these days, as Trent works out where he’s supposed to be playing.
Anyway, loads to look forward to this season. Loads to chat about. Sadly I’ll be at home for the league games. This old bloke who’s been going since the seventies didn’t get a single ticket in the dreaded ballot. I’ve got the Euro games at least. So heads up folks. And those of you on Twitter who moan relentlessly, maybe take a step back and remember what we DO have. We’re all entitled to our opinion, but remember we’re here to support any and everyone who wears our red shirt. I’d much rather support our team which may not have the riches of some teams close to home, to some rich soulless club like Chelsea. I also count my blessings. Coming from Liverpool, I might have been born into a family supporting the Everton.
